naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize