shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
