We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
