god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
