he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
