Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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