Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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