Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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