I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
