My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
