they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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