margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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