Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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