dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We're too hungover to prance.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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