Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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