I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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