It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
