i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
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I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
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No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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