i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
