He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
