My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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