Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Randomize
