I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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