Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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