This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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