Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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