I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
