I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
