your room smells of hookers.
And success
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
