we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
