I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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