I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
