i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You may now shotgun with the bride
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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