So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
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WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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