Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
