I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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