haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
