I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
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Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
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He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.