i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
