Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize