why didn't you poke me back
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
