I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
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Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
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In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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