No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
