I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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