it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
