why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
