I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
