did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
