The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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