You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
