therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
