I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I am one with the molecules
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
