What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
