I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
