what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
