One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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