she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
