I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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