Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
