dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
