I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I need to align my fucking chakras
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
