See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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