His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize