oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
