I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
